Pee

Tonight I was at trivia night at a bar. I went to the bathroom and found an empty stall in which to do the obvious business. I quickly noted that the seat was covered in splashes of pee and I was going to have to hover. As soon as I started to hover, I had a flashback to my first skiing trip without my mom...

I was with my dad, brother, my dad's friend Chris Shears and his son, Frankie. We had taken the jeep up to Sandia Mountain for a day of skiing. I couldn't have been more than 6 or 7 years old. At the end of the day as we're getting ready to head back down the mountain, I was told to go to the bathroom. Being the only girl in the bunch, I was sent alone to the ladies room. I went in, waited in line, and finally got to a stall, only to discover that the "toilet" was a hole in the ground. I started crying and knew there was no way I could pee. I went back out to the jeep. Dad asked me if I'd gone. I told him with tears in my eyes that I hadn't and I couldn't. He knew my female ways and knew that I needed to pee and would call an emergency 2 minutes down the road if I didn't go at the slopes. He immediately sent me back to the bathroom. Again, I was alone. I faced the stall again, still crying. Some sweet lady realized the situation and held onto my hands while I hovered over the hole in the ground and relieved myself. It was terrifying.

On the way home, Frankie and I sang the diarrhea song.

Maybe this is where all my fears of public bathrooms began...